News of the coronavirus is everywhere, and many of you may be wondering how to talk to your children or teens about the pandemic in a way that will be reassuring and help them with anxiety or fear that they could be experiencing.
1) Don’t avoid talking about it. Most children will have already heard about the virus, so parents shouldn’t avoid talking about it. Not talking about something can actually make kids worry more. Look at the conversation as an opportunity to convey facts and set the emotional tone. You want to help your children feel informed and get fact-based information that is likely to be more reassuring than whatever they may be hearing from friends or on the news.
2) Take cues from your child. Begin by inviting your child to tell you anything they may have heard about the coronavirus, and how they feel. Give them lots of time to ask questions. You should avoid encouraging more confusion or anxiety. Let your child take the lead in the direction of the conversation, which will help them feel empowered.
3) Be developmentally appropriate. Don’t volunteer too much information, as this may be overwhelming. More details for teens, less details for young children. Instead, have your goal to be to try to answer your child’s questions. Do your best to answer honestly and clearly. It’s okay if you can’t answer something! Being available to your child and open to talking to them about this topic is what matters.
4) Focus on feelings. If you notice your child experiencing anxiety or fear, whether within the conversation or throughout the day, be sure to address these feelings. Simply saying “You feel anxious” or “I see that this makes you feel scared/worried”, serves a few different purposes: a) helping your child identify their own feelings b) letting your child know it’s okay and encouraged to talk about his/her feelings c) letting your child know that you understand and care.
5) Recognize and address your own anxiety. When you’re feeling most anxious or panicked is not
the time to talk to your kids about the coronavirus. If you notice that you are feeling anxious, take some time to calm down before trying to have a conversation or answer your child’s questions.
6) Be reassuring. For young children, hearing about the coronavirus on the news or from friends may be enough to make them seriously worry that they’ll catch it. It’s helpful to reassure your child/teen with some general facts about coronavirus. For example, the fact that following CDC recommendations decreases likelihood of getting it and the fact that kids seem to have milder symptoms.
7) Focus on what you CAN control or change. In this time of uncertainty and many changes, it is helpful to focus your thoughts, time, and effort on aspects of your life which you can control, rather than on aspects of your life that you cannot control. For example, aspects of life that many of us can’t control or change include the actions of other people, how others react, predicting what will happen, how long this will last, or if others follow the CDC guidelines.
However, aspects of life that most of us CAN control or change include your own personal attitude (whether I choose that to be positive or negative), how you follow CDC recommendations, your own physical distancing, how much TV and media you watch, and how you choose to spend your time at home. When it comes to Type 1, what we can control or change is taking steps towards being prepared (stocking up on prescriptions and supplies), staying healthy, and keeping blood sugars under control the best we can.
8) Focus on what you do to stay safe. It’s important to reassure kids to focus on what you are doing to be safe and the precautions that you can take. Kids feel empowered when they know what to do to stay safe. We know that the coronavirus is transmitted mostly by coughing and touching surfaces. So, remind kids that they are taking care of themselves by washing their hands with soap and water, and also by keeping “physical distance”. “Social distancing” is unfortunately the term that has caught on by media. It is definitely preferred to say “physical distance” rather than “social distance”. Physical distance is correct terminology. However, “social distancing” implies that we need to keep away from our family, friends, and social connections. We need family, friends, and social connections during this difficult time more than we ever have. Thankfully, with the use of technology, we can certainly keep the recommended physical distance from others, without having to socially distance ourselves.
9) Routine. Children and teens in general have difficulty with changes or uncertainty, so sticking to consistency and predictability is going to be helpful right now. This is especially important if your child’s school or daycare shuts down or goes online, as most have. Make sure you are sticking to a general structure just like you would during any other spring break or a summer vacation. Structured days with regular mealtimes and bedtimes are an essential part of maintaining predictability. Take note that free time and play time is still very important now too.
10) Encourage talking more about it. Tell kids that you will continue to keep them updated as you learn more. Let them know that communication about this topic is open and they can ask questions at any time. You can say, “Even though we don’t have the answers to everything right now, when I know more, I will let you know, too.”
As always, if you find that your own or your child’s/teen’s anxiety or fear during this time feels overwhelming, please reach out to a mental health professional. Don’t allow the current coronavirus physical distancing recommendations to be a barrier to seeking out mental health support, because tele-mental health exists! Tele-mental health is the use of online video chat (similar to Skype or Facetime) to have appointments with your mental health counselor while sitting on your couch.
Tele-mental health is easy and convenient, and thankfully, Type1Talk Counseling is run completely using tele-mental health. Specializing in people with Type 1 Diabetes, adolescents (ages 10 and up) and adults with Type 1, and parents in individual counseling. I also provide parenting education for parents of children/teens with Type 1.
Stay safe and remember to keep physical distance, not social distance. 😊
-Dr. Carroll